Maafkan Aku

Sang Dewi

Tanggungjawab

September 2012 - 23 tahun

"Dik, sempena umur 23 ni baba nak bagi present dekat you."

baba... macam biasa lar buat drama time hari lahir Opie. satu sampul surat siap ribbon warna peach. letter of appointment.

"No!" memang kasar kalau anak2 campakkan barang depan parent. tapi tindakan tu tak sengaja.

November 2013 - 24 tahun

"Let me introduce you to our new Chief Executive Officer, Ms. Sophie" dengan tak pakai kasut, rambut kusut masai spec macam betty. senyum je lar. surprise sangat baba ni. kejutan ala2 cerita telenovela gitu.

"tahniah Ms. Sophie." senyum lagi.

paling berat yang pernah aku pikul adalah tanggungjawab menjaga Hery dan Alisya masa mak ayah diorang nak pegi buat baby baru. thats all. tapi this one, big one. orang ramai akan kata rezeki. tapi tak, aku kata bala. pasal apa? sebab aku tak ada experience. i handle things but not this one. baba tak ada pilihan. sebab baba tak percaya orang luar. anak anak sahaja.

should i say thanks, should i be proud?

i can try for the sake of my family. for the sake of baba. for those who love me. i will try.

terima kasih atas peluang.

Alhamdulillah.

Painful Night, Peaceful Heart

malam tadi sakit. sakit sangat bila tiba tiba flashback. 1 je perkataan yang hinggap, "KEJAM"

bulan yang sama, tahun yang berbeza. tak pasti. masih sama atau dah berubah.

rindu.

sungguh sungguh aku rindu.

gembira.

lain macam lar rasa dia. macam mula mula kenal.

nak tunggu minggu baru. selalu relax je. ni tak sabar.

tapi tak boleh lar. kalau dulu aku KEJAM, sekarang lebih KEJAM. sebab aku tak ada hati.

perasaan.

ada. tapi takut. serious aku takut. bukan takut kecewa lagi. tapi takut kecewakan lagi. sekali dah cukup.

terima kasih sebab ada. XD

Special post to a special person

Here is something that i regret for being away from people who cares about me.

Here is something that i wont forgive myself for being in love and failed.

Here is something that i'm not be able to redeem for being stupid.

I was away because im stupidly in love with someone who i barely know.

Someone who maybe has taken granted from me for being nice to him.

For him i have lost lot of friends and family.. I have lost great journey of my life. I have abused the love from people who really cares for me love me for who i am.

Dear Zharif Bux,

I wanna say im sorry.

Im sorry to think that you're the most important person who have love me with all of your heart. To think that i can never live without you. To think that the world would ended when you leave me. Im sorry. 

But. Its ok. I realize and i accept the fact that i'm just a transit point for you to meet your true soul mate. Alhamdulillah i've moved on. I still loved you, and i will always do.

Last but not least, tolong jaga diri awak untuk saya.

Love,

Sophie.

#16

Kahwin bukan perkara main-main.

Lagi-lagi kalau bukan dari hati.

Kahwin tu perkara suci.

Jangan kotorkan perkahwinan hanya untuk lari dari masalah.

Kahwin, kerana Allah.

#15

"It’s scary how people leave scars on you; how certain people will never really vanish from the thoughts in your mind. I mean, I don’t think I will ever get over you. It’s not that I’m sad about us; but, sometimes in the middle of the day, out of nowhere, I hear your sentence quoted. I hear one of your phrases, loud in my mind, and I feel the way it goes all the way down to my heart again, destroying me like a tsunami. It overcomes you slowly. It’s like I get thrown back into the sea, and waves of my thoughts are crashing over me. I don’t know how I am supposed to get over a person, and you don’t have to. You can still cry after months about it. Even when you’re married and endlessly happy with that person, you should be able to cry about your first love. Not because you’re still in love with them, even if a little part still is, but because you will always love what you once loved. You learn to understand it. With every new moment and experience in your life, you start to understand, piece by piece, what was happening back then." - Elay Neal Moses

#14

Every time i said i've moved on, you keep coming back.

#13

Cinta tu dah mati.

Tapi aku belum.

Perasaan juga sudah mati.

Tapi aku belum.

I miss you, us. -__-'

#12

Dear Zharif,

Stress i macam ni.i tried so many way to forget but failed.i miss you.i miss you to the max.

Semalam kawan i marah i, dia kata REAL LOVE DONT CHANGE FAST.1 week after we broke up, you still sayang i.next month you dah sayang orang lain.i yang bodoh ke? 

Hunn, i miss you. 😭

#11

I miss Zharif Bux So much.

Sekian.

#10

Moving.

Yeap.moving.

Seriously its not easy.leaving.
Opie pun tak suka.its for the good of everybody.bonda baba kak rina kak lynn my nieces and nephews.it breaks my heart.but i cant just sit here and keep on reminiscing things.dah jadi habit pulak.

I keep telling myself i can do this.but i cant.

So, heres my final try.im leaving.movjng.for good.

#9

Its been a while. Biase lar tak sihat. Nurse dekat hospital pun dah cam muka Opie.

Anyway, hari ni dengar lagu When I Was Your Men continuously even now pun still dengar lagi. Suka part, now my baby's dancing and she's dancing with another men. So obvious. -___-'

I got a lot to write tadi. Tapi lepas solat Opie senyum je. If we were meant to be, mesti lar kitorang akan jumpa dan together balik for good.

I guess i gave up too much. XD

SZUB i miss you to the max.

#8

Bunuh aku, dan kau akan bebas.

#7

Tired of thinking about you.

#6

I don't believe in true love, love at first sight and others.

#5

Salam.

"Ada harapan untuk pulih"

Senyum opie.alhamdulillah masih ada masa untuk buat macam2.

Opie faham perasaan manusia yang rasa seolah2 nyawa mereka dah hujung2.tapi jangan mengalah cepat sangat.percaya hidup mati ditangan Allah, bukan dictor.

Meh opie pimpan tangan awak.kita sama2 teruskan hidup selagi terdaya.yang penting percaya.

#4

Tempohari ada berhubung dengan kawan Zharif. Budak tu cakap Zharif minta contact number Opie. :( mesti sebab nak tanya kenapa Opie send friend request then nak bagitahu yang dia tak boleh approve sebab taknak gf dia sakit hati. Demi Allah Opie tak sengaja tertekan button send friend request tu. :(

Opie tak tau sampai bila nak jadi macam ni. Lagi cuba nak lupa lagi kuat Opie rindu Zharif. Kita tak share apa2 pun. Tapi kenapa sampai macam ni. A friend of mine said that i cant fall in love. Sebab once i fall, i fall so bad. I miss Zharif soooo much. Sakit sampai hulu hati boleh rasa pedih. :'((

Kenapa mesti dia. :'((

#3

I love this picture!

#2

Bangun pagi ni rasa lain macam.tulang2 sendi2 semua sakit.semua orang tak ada dekat rumah.baru teringat bonda masuk bilik pagi tadi bagitahu dia ada course sampai lewat petang.so hari ni semua benda kena buat sendiri.

Mandi done, breakfast done.rutin harian macam biasa tengok tv.tiba2 terpandang wii Hery.dah lama tak main tennis.teringat masa sihat dulu.buat apa pegi mana semua boleh.senyum je lar.bahagian Opie kan.

Its been 4 months now.

#1

I remember the last time you text. "Dont twitt, dont post it on FB, dont blog it because if you do; im not gonna be able to contact you anymore."

I stopped, i didnt twitt, didnt post, didnt blog but i do 1 thing; SMILE.

That few text we had; enough for the last 3 months. When i got back; i miss you even more.

I lay down; close my eyes. I saw you smiling and laughing. Again; SMILE.

I want to write

1469 viewers? Im like woah! Ok whatever!

I wanna start writing back. I really need to write back. Its been almost a year. Let me write. Let me share things with you people out there. About me, about my past my family friend anything just to fill in my leisure time.

People are please to comments. XD