Mohd Fikri Zainal Abidin - Part 1

theres a story behind this friendship.tapi opie nak keep it as a secret.

Twithandle : @Key_430

i started to follow him on 12th March 2012 (agak2 je ni) so on 13th March dia starts with saying thank you sebab follow dia .

then he added me at FB, here's my first comment

Suatu Masa Dulu

insiden apa ni im not sure i cant remember but we use to break up, and go back together. XD



Berat Mata Memandang

Berat lagi bahu yang memiul Gin.

scroll lagi hari ni tengok wall yang dulu2.adoi.sakit gila.kenapa diciptakan hati untuk disakiti, diciptakan perasaan untuk dikhianati dan diciptakan pertemuan dan perpisahan? adil ke kalau hanya seorang saja yang menanggung?

gin call awal pagi tadi.memang opie takde update apa2 langsung tentang opie sejak dia dah kawin sebab taknak dia risau2 lagipun dia bukan milik opie dah.so taknak lar dia fikir2 tentang opie eventhough wife dia tak kisah tapi for me my self i have to lar.logik kan?

so dah cerita semua, apa yang dia bolleh cakap "datang sini, kita cari yang baru jugak, buktikan pada dia yang you can live without him.and your love is worth to fight for." dia backup jugak Zharif "dia tak jahat cuma you guys were not meant to be, tapi cara dia ignore you tu yang salah." so yeah, dia memang tak salah.sebagai tambahan perbualan kitorang tadi "tak salah jugak kalau opie tetap sayangkan dia.doakan kesejahteraan dia." i am.for the rest of my life.

and gin ask if i have try to replace him.oke tak tipi, opie ada cari tapi masuk ni dah 2 orang.semua tak boleh pegi.bukan nak cari yang sama, cuma nak yang rasa selesa dan boleh buat saya lupankan dia.itu sahaja.mohon tuhan berikan peluang pada diri saya dan jugak pada teman saya akan datang.amin.


p/s : buxxie IMY!

Faradiyana Zulkifli

Ini cinta baru Zharif Bux

Good Luck !!



9th March 2012

morning people!

i have a lot to tell.but i dont think i have that time to membebel in this blog.however, i will try to insert the key point inside this post.

so, remember my last post? Click Sini so it answers the question that been playing in my mind since it has been told on 1st March 2012

bila tengok balik...... hurm im not mad, rasanya lar.tak marah cuma tertanya2.where does our love stories? yang kononnya sayang sangat sampai bila2.just because dia teman you all the time while im not there you can easily fall for her? seriously? macam tu ke? i did the same thing too.i did text you, i did call you, but what you did is AVOID! kan? or maybe you guys memang dah ada relationship before it starts? i dont know.oke now rasa macam marah.

masa you told me to stop twitting bout you, i did.sebab nak jaga hati you, nak jaga hati GF you.but when it comes to me, why didnt you do the same thing too? atleast bagi lar i fully recover.i baru nak bangun, dah jatuh balik.and you promise that you'll be there for me, you're the one who're supposed to help me up tapi you tengok je.

congratulations with your new relationship, opie doakan you bahagia hingga habis nyawa.and please dooo treat your GF well.kalau dia nak cakap dengan you, please stop DotA for a while.mana tau you tak ada peluang lagi untuk cakap dengan dia kalau you dulu kan DotA.

you might be her BF till the end of the world, but you'll always be my #slimyFrog 

She's Not Actually A GF

remember bout BO? bxbo from twitter? yeah semalam i called him dia tanya kenapa ada account baru dan account lama.susah kalau nak taip, panjang cerita dia.malas.so call je terus senang nak cerita.

so ok, lepas dah cerita semua then bo cakap, "i dont think dia ada GF lain, sometime guys selalu buat macam tu for a reason lar" really? mula2 pun opie rasa macam tu sebab i tak kenal siapa that girl dekat mana dia takde on twitter, takde on FB.and its all clear that he doesnt care about me pun.not even a single thing that he did yang boleh buat dia ingat pada opie.kejam ke apa tu?

but if what bo says tu betul, and i have to say that you're stupid.memang salah i, tapi apa you buat tu sangat bodoh.why cant we just go with the flow? you're so stupid!

i try to like people, tapi tak boleh.you keep on coming back.i stress lar macam ni.kenapa you senang gila lupakan i.lupakan kita.hate me if you want to but all i did is because of you.terlalu sayangkan you.i ada you je, and bila you takde i macam sangat lifeless.

Twitt2Me @opazhar

Here's a post for few new friends i met in twitter.actually takde yang rapat sangat pun.i met, firdaus, hakimi, fikri and hanif shahimi.

macam firdaus dia sambung belajar dekat UiTM, so sepatutnya kitorang jadi partner in crime tapi tak pun sebab i choose to work.hakimi, tak kenal sangat tapi dia student same goes as fikri.rapat tak rapat macam2 tu je la.hanif shahimi student uniten muadzam course Marketing.

dia ni agak rapat lar malam tadi otp dengan dia.agak lama jugak.cerita macam2.call me sayang call me baby.suka but in the same time takut tak selesa.takut sakitkan hati dia.tapi dia pun ada mention "kalau" so possibility for us being together tu macam tak sangat lar kot.kawan je.flirt around.

talking about flirt around ni, i think i learn something and it feels much better.bukan sebab gatal tapi sebab kita rasa bebas.and of course its on our own risk lar.kalau tersuka atau tersayang, tapi takde niat untuk together itu risk nama dia.

i dont know if i can have a heart to fall for others lagi dah for now.but i can easily like people.how lar? ni ke yang zharif dapat? i mean... sayang, is this how you forget bout me? i love you tau yanggggg why do have to leave lar.why cant you stay?

Bisikan Cinta

Bisikan cinta menghantui diriku ini

Masa tak henti

Bisikan cinta menghantui

Diriku kini terasa merana

Kau segala buat diriku

Tapi kau berpunya

Ku ingin luahkan apa rasa di hati

Kata hati yang ku pendam selama ini

Ku cinta (kau cinta)

Ku cinta (kau cinta)

Kau cinta (ku cinta)

Kau cinta (ku cinta)

Ku ingin luahkan apa rasa di hati

Kata hati yang ku pendam selama ini

Ku cinta (kau cinta)

Ku cinta (kau cinta)

Kau cinta (ku cinta)

Kau cinta (ku cinta)

Secara jujur ku masih mencintaimu

Secara jujur tak dapat ku lupakanmu

Tak payah dan tak perlu ku cerita tentang lara

atau kesepian yang tidak ku tahu akhirnya

Ya kini kau tiada tapi dia bagaimana

Mampukah dirinya jadi belahan nyawa

Hentikan bisikan yang bermain di fikiranku

Ku sayang dia seperti aku sayang kau dulu

Termenung kosong cerita cinta si dia

Sedih tidak cemburu mungkin iya

Tiga batu permata ku dapat hanya duka

Biar aku sengsara suka di dalam luka

Biar perit akan ku telan jua

Agar dikau bahagia ku buat apa saja

Anganku moga kita bersama

Rela aku merana lihat dikau bersama

Akhirnya aku pasrah

Oooo

Masa tak henti

Bisikan cinta menghantui

Diriku kini terasa merana

Kau segala buat diriku

Tapi kau.. kau berpunya

Chorus

Walaupun kau bersamanya

Kau tetap aku yang punya

Biar ku telan pahitnya

Agar kau bahagia

Siang dan malam aku menanti

Walau diri ku tak dipeduli

Sayang kau tak menyedari

Cinta mu ada disini

Kehilangan satu-satunya sandaran jiwa

Dihujani luka berembun penyesalan

Membiarkan ilusi karut memapah emosi

Cakerawalaku buta cahaya hilang kemana (satu rasa)

Takkan mati takkan pergi takkan berganti (umpama)

Akal dan hati tidak pernah berkomunikasi

Di batas kehampaan dan kerinduan

Aku doakan bahagia buat dirimu dan dia

Bisikan cinta menghantui diri

Bisikan cinta menghantui diri ku kini

Dengarlah rintihan hati

Suara jiwa ku ini

Moga kau kan tempuhi

Segala rintangan yang bakal menanti

Tanpaku menemanimu

Kau tetap di ingatanku

Namun masa dah berlalu

Memories I Choose To Stay

baru2 ni sangat rajin browse semua wall-to-wall between me and Zharif siap screen cap lagi.

Suka ni sebab Ariff call me Miss Bix XD

Sweet kot!

oke ni geli!

see ada Ophelia Bux

comel! suka kalau gaduh dengan dia.bhahahaha. XD

bhahahahaha.saya senyum2 nak letak caption ni tau! bhahahahaha.we're so happy back then. XD

ni terLIKE oke.terTEKAN.bhahahahaha.and he response. XD

So tu la dia antara beberapa wall-to-wall yang ada.rindu sangat ni.tapi relax je lar.

From UiTM to Regalia

Last February Opie diterima masuk ke UiTM Shah Alam untuk course IT.daftar pada 25hb February 2012.dua hari sebelum daftar Zaizi from Regalia call sebab nak offer a job since that apa yang diorang buat tu memerlukan somebody yang boleh commit full time.reason is kak ji tak boleh.so Zaizi mintak opie pertimbangkan apa yang mereka offer.seriously the pay is good damn good.betul ni.tak tipu.

so agak lama opie fikir, dan pertemuan Opie dengan Zaizi, Wan dan Zikri buat Opie fikir untuk kerja.busykan diri.bukan bermakna nak larikan diri cuma nak give myself a break.untuk jaga hati Zharif dan GF dia bukan senang.i sacrifice myself for them, tu cukup bermakna.harap dia hargai apa yang opie buat.memang dia tak mintak, tapi atas sebab lain opie kena jugak buat.

so yeah, dah hantar barang ambil semula barang and 19hb saya bergerak pergi.i will try my best.doakan saya. XD

Should I Text Or Inbox Or Email?

As per our last coversation, i've been thinking to put a fullstop once and for all.a  fullstop where im taking a break to heal my pain.i've been in hospital like so many time but this time was different.STRESS.its not because off work, but facing a breakoff situation really make me sick.dizzy, muntah, heartbeat tak tentu, dehydrated, not enough sleep.so yeah.im taking a break.

orang cakap cara dia senang je, all you need to do is redha and let go.but how? kadang dia ada, kadang he's not there.i realize that this is my first time having this weird issue.i saw you when i open my eyes, feels like you're holding my hands if walk on streets, and feels like you're kissing me when im off to sleep.

so on 1st March 2012, you told me bout this new girl you met.sakit jangan cakap.but its your choice, and you happy im oke.walaupun tak sebenarnya.because you left me empty.there's nothing left in me dah.so yeah.jom karang surat.

Shaikh Zharif Uwais Bux  Shaikh Ghazali Bux saya,

hope you're doing fine.thanks for calling that night.seriously i terkejut, tak jangka you will call, lawak part is where you cakap, "kalau habis ni means credit i habis tau." as usual.bhahahahaha.semua apa yang you cakap beberapa je yang lekat dalam kepala dan hati i, "why do want to be with someone who doesnt wants to be with you", "i met a girl, i like her and she likes me too *whodoesnt*" and "if she hurt, then im hurt." she's lucky.i pernah rasa lucky having you by my side.i just want you to tell her lar, that im so sorry, i didnt mean to hurt her or whatever.told her that im oke, she dont have to push you to me because you nak pergi dengan dia.so sorry about my twitter thingy.im so sorry.like you said, twitter is like my personal diary.so yeah.tapi salah you jugak lar pasal apa you bagi dia tengok.ikutkan hati i, i nak block you because you terganggu, dia pun terganggu, tapi sebab you cakap jangan.so ikut apa you nak.banyak i nak bebel but i think all the points are there.thank you so much for being my friend, my brother, my dad, my everything.im sorry for all the pain that i've done.seriously semua tu sebab nak attention.mengada2.nak tengok macam mana you layan i.like a princess oke.i miss your "yangggggg" kalau boleh letak sound i letak dah.miss your laugh.miss your "babi" "eff you" i miss your texts, your morning calls.i miss semua lar.dulu tak kisah, sekarang baru terasa.padan dengan muka i.thanks sebab buat i rasa disayangi, buat i rasa terbang2, buat i rasa i penting.thank you so much.please listen to this song pretty please.tak penting pada you but i want you to listen to it because i listen to your's.boleh macam tu.title is Demi Cinta by Keripatih.i'll be putting it on my wall anyway.tapi i dont think that you'll browse my wall like you always do dulu.kirim salam dekat GF you, tell her that im sorry.really.so sorry.you'll be he's BF but ypu'll always be my #slimyFrog.you'll be gone, and i'll be here tapi bukan sebab tunggu sebab i have no where to go unless Allah has plan for me which we know that's true. XD good luck, have a great life ahead.haih.oke i should stop here.please listen to that song.i tau you tak suka lagu melayu but ni i request untuk kali terakhir.thank you #slimyFrog.

Love,
Sophie.

so lebih kurang macam tu lar surat saya. -___-' ouh symbol ni, saya ikut dari dia lar -___-' < --- ini! hurm. #okbai

Demi Cinta

"Here's something for you and us"

Stop Twitting About Me

Thank you March 2012 sebab dapat dengar suara dia, ketawa dia.

Opie terjaga jam 4:15 *lebihkuranglar* so i started twitting macam biasa.macam biasa jugak, celik mata je mesti nampak dia although he's not there.i twitted about how hard it is to forget about us, you.sangat.then opie dikejutkan dengan a call jam 4:56 pagi.yes, 1st March 2012 at 4:56 am.terfikir kejap siapa yang call.hati berdebar2 jangan cakap lar debaran dia tu.rupa2nya Zharif Bux! no! mimpi ke aper ni? seriously?!!

so yeah.its Zharif's voice.ya Allah rindu gila! terus opie menangis.perut kejang, susah nak nafas.penangan seorang EX.pergh! banyak benda yang kitorang borak for like 1hr 30 minute macam tu lar jugak otp dengan dia.rindu gila sampai masa nak tulis blog ni pun macam nak menangis.dah bergenang dah mata ni.

im not sure if i can get our conversation in details tapi i will try to state everything lar.
1. how are you? i tengok dekat twitter you masuk hospital semua.
- so yeah, masuk hospital seperti yang Opie dah cerita dekat sini .
2. you rindu i ke? *soalanbodoh*
- sangat
3. you sayang i ke?
- you tak nampak ke?
4. kenapa you mintak break dulu
- because i cant give you things that you want, you're not happy.
5. kita break sebab dota kan?
- tell you the truth yes, tapi tu benda kecil je lar.tapi i terasa sebab i nak spend masa yang i ada dengan you tapi you hilang for like what? 30 munite and dengan selambanya you cakap you DotA? i tak marah you nak DotA, tapi consider lar masa yang i nak spend untuk you hunn!
6. betul ke you datang Seremban? i saw your twitt, i check on you.
- really? im sorry, if you rasa tak selesa dengan i punya twitt semua you unfollow je lar i.i dont mind.im sorry, i tau you follow i, but i cant help myself.im sorry, kalau you tak selesa you can block me.yes, mula2 i dah sampai Nilai, patah balik, then i makan Tutti Fruitti, then i pegi bali sampai Seremban i tak pegi terus.i dont have the guts to do so.what if tiba2 i saw you dengan perempuan lain, macam mana i nak patah balik?
7. you buy phone for me? why?
- yes, i pun tak tau kenapa, i bought it like 2 weeks ago.but im gonna sell it lar.
8. hows your dad? bonda? kakak you, chicka, gin and cousin you, mesti diorang semua benci dengan i.
- my dad diam je, bonda pun.yang lain diorang dah tak ambil tahu sangat.tak larat nak layan i dah.
9. i bagi you tips ok?
- i got a lot of tips dah, tak payah lar.

so this part is where i cried a lot, menahan dan cuba berlagak biasa tapi dalam hati dah macam apa dah.tuhan je yang tahu.bukan sedih sebab apa, sebab dia takde.walaupun sedang otp, tapi bukan dia lagi dah.

"why must you go for someone who doesnt want you in his life?" <-- this hurts me the most.bantal memang basah lar masa dia cakap macam tu.sesak nafas.and he's worried.takut saya tak bangun dari tidur.

"if i told you i ada GF would you be better?" what can i do if theres another girl? i cant move on jugak2.

now here's something that can shut my mouth and mind for a little while..
"i met this girl, she's been there for me.i like her, and she likes me too.i told her everything about you, she even look at your twitter.she keeps pushing me so that i can go to you.so all i want you to do is stop twitting about me because everytime she reads your twitts she hurt and thats hurts me too."

i cant let you get hurt! you're my everything! no! i wont!

so, masa dia bagitahu tu opie macam, "you made up stories" and he said that "you can think what you want to." and i cried even harder.ya Allah berikan lar hamba-Mu ini kekuatan.

so he keeps on telling me that "i'll be there for you if you need me.just text me." i keep on silent.

"you nak kita macam dulu ke?" <-- ini jawapannya, "no, i taknak, i want you to be there, to je."
the reason is, ada masa it feels like you're around, tapi ada masa you're not there and im LOST.

jujur, i dont want us, i just want you to be there for me.itu sahaja.tapi sebab you dah mulakan dengan yang baru, so i guess its oke tho.i taknak sakitkan hati dia, sebab i perempuan.i know how does it feels like.

i'll sacrifice my twitter account for the sake of your relationship.i know its not necesssary but i did it for the girl.i perempuan, i tau apa dia rasa.i rasa sakit yang dia rasa.i do.you deserve to be happy Zharif, and for me time will heal the pain insyaallah.dekat kan diri dengan Allah, nescaya pulih seperti sediakala.

wish you all the best hunny.i will always love you.