Stop Twitting About Me

Thank you March 2012 sebab dapat dengar suara dia, ketawa dia.

Opie terjaga jam 4:15 *lebihkuranglar* so i started twitting macam biasa.macam biasa jugak, celik mata je mesti nampak dia although he's not there.i twitted about how hard it is to forget about us, you.sangat.then opie dikejutkan dengan a call jam 4:56 pagi.yes, 1st March 2012 at 4:56 am.terfikir kejap siapa yang call.hati berdebar2 jangan cakap lar debaran dia tu.rupa2nya Zharif Bux! no! mimpi ke aper ni? seriously?!!

so yeah.its Zharif's voice.ya Allah rindu gila! terus opie menangis.perut kejang, susah nak nafas.penangan seorang EX.pergh! banyak benda yang kitorang borak for like 1hr 30 minute macam tu lar jugak otp dengan dia.rindu gila sampai masa nak tulis blog ni pun macam nak menangis.dah bergenang dah mata ni.

im not sure if i can get our conversation in details tapi i will try to state everything lar.
1. how are you? i tengok dekat twitter you masuk hospital semua.
- so yeah, masuk hospital seperti yang Opie dah cerita dekat sini .
2. you rindu i ke? *soalanbodoh*
- sangat
3. you sayang i ke?
- you tak nampak ke?
4. kenapa you mintak break dulu
- because i cant give you things that you want, you're not happy.
5. kita break sebab dota kan?
- tell you the truth yes, tapi tu benda kecil je lar.tapi i terasa sebab i nak spend masa yang i ada dengan you tapi you hilang for like what? 30 munite and dengan selambanya you cakap you DotA? i tak marah you nak DotA, tapi consider lar masa yang i nak spend untuk you hunn!
6. betul ke you datang Seremban? i saw your twitt, i check on you.
- really? im sorry, if you rasa tak selesa dengan i punya twitt semua you unfollow je lar i.i dont mind.im sorry, i tau you follow i, but i cant help myself.im sorry, kalau you tak selesa you can block me.yes, mula2 i dah sampai Nilai, patah balik, then i makan Tutti Fruitti, then i pegi bali sampai Seremban i tak pegi terus.i dont have the guts to do so.what if tiba2 i saw you dengan perempuan lain, macam mana i nak patah balik?
7. you buy phone for me? why?
- yes, i pun tak tau kenapa, i bought it like 2 weeks ago.but im gonna sell it lar.
8. hows your dad? bonda? kakak you, chicka, gin and cousin you, mesti diorang semua benci dengan i.
- my dad diam je, bonda pun.yang lain diorang dah tak ambil tahu sangat.tak larat nak layan i dah.
9. i bagi you tips ok?
- i got a lot of tips dah, tak payah lar.

so this part is where i cried a lot, menahan dan cuba berlagak biasa tapi dalam hati dah macam apa dah.tuhan je yang tahu.bukan sedih sebab apa, sebab dia takde.walaupun sedang otp, tapi bukan dia lagi dah.

"why must you go for someone who doesnt want you in his life?" <-- this hurts me the most.bantal memang basah lar masa dia cakap macam tu.sesak nafas.and he's worried.takut saya tak bangun dari tidur.

"if i told you i ada GF would you be better?" what can i do if theres another girl? i cant move on jugak2.

now here's something that can shut my mouth and mind for a little while..
"i met this girl, she's been there for me.i like her, and she likes me too.i told her everything about you, she even look at your twitter.she keeps pushing me so that i can go to you.so all i want you to do is stop twitting about me because everytime she reads your twitts she hurt and thats hurts me too."

i cant let you get hurt! you're my everything! no! i wont!

so, masa dia bagitahu tu opie macam, "you made up stories" and he said that "you can think what you want to." and i cried even harder.ya Allah berikan lar hamba-Mu ini kekuatan.

so he keeps on telling me that "i'll be there for you if you need me.just text me." i keep on silent.

"you nak kita macam dulu ke?" <-- ini jawapannya, "no, i taknak, i want you to be there, to je."
the reason is, ada masa it feels like you're around, tapi ada masa you're not there and im LOST.

jujur, i dont want us, i just want you to be there for me.itu sahaja.tapi sebab you dah mulakan dengan yang baru, so i guess its oke tho.i taknak sakitkan hati dia, sebab i perempuan.i know how does it feels like.

i'll sacrifice my twitter account for the sake of your relationship.i know its not necesssary but i did it for the girl.i perempuan, i tau apa dia rasa.i rasa sakit yang dia rasa.i do.you deserve to be happy Zharif, and for me time will heal the pain insyaallah.dekat kan diri dengan Allah, nescaya pulih seperti sediakala.

wish you all the best hunny.i will always love you.